You can click on this to make it bigger. Should you want to.
Yesterday, as some of you may have noticed, Campaign published a teaser for their 'end of year honours list' - 'Adland's Top Ten Twitterers'. Like the lovely fools that they are, they inadvertently included me alongside such genuine advertising luminaries as Rory Sutherland, Graham Fink, Ian Tait and the intimidatingly brilliant Amelia Torode.
I was obviously massively flattered, but... I hate to say it: Campaign got it wrong. I don't belong in that crowd. As I said in the last tweet they quoted, I mostly just make cock jokes and get excited about cricket. I am to twitter what Howard Donald is to Take That - it's nice that I'm there, but you'd probably get by ok without me if I went off to Germany to be a DJ. I'd like to think I'm Robbie. But I'm probably Howard.
So, in a desire to put right what once went wrong, I just wanted to quickly highlight the adland twitterers that twitter really couldn't cope without - the Gary Barlows of the twittersphere. I thought for a while about breaking it down into useful/interesting/insightful/etc, but then I bored myself, so I'm just going to give you three people who are much, much funnier than me - the Backstreet Boys to my N*Sync, to continue the boyband analogy. Or the All Saints to my Eternal, to mix it up a bit. Because twitter shouldn't be about getting AA Gill or Jan Moir sacked, and it shouldn't be about calling Nick Griffin a racist (unless it's done in an inventively sweary way), and it CERTAINLY should be about fucking twibbons. Twitter should entertain and inform. And these people are entertaining and informative. Yes.
First off, the indomitable Janet Belmot, self-proclaimed President Of The Internet, and the Biggest of the Big Thinkers. Here are some of the things that she has said that are funnier than the things that I have said:
"If using THREE links doesn't drum up support for a campaign, we might as well all leave Twitter now"
Secondly, the simply marvellous RealMenTweet, who we should all respect and be nice to, because not only is he VERY funny, he's also a sensitive soul (he also blogs better than me). As with Mrs B, here are three things he's said that are funnier than anything I've EVER said:
"YES! That guy who had the same jumper as me has been made redundant. No more embarrassing moments in the lift."
"my tickly cough has developed into a full-blown sniffle"
"wow that's depressing. just set myself a reminder to remove nasal hair"
And finally, the (some might say) award-winning Elika, who, to coin a phrase, sneezes funnier tweets than I can craft. Here are some examples from JUST THE LAST TWO DAYS:
"My boss is astonished at how much I know which PROVES I have a STUPID face."
"Holy Jesus. I *have* to stop twatting the phone into my face when I answer it."
"I hope I'm hormonal, otherwise I'm the sort of person who cries at How to Look Good Naked. Like, naturally."
So there you have it, people. Be on twitter, because it's ace. But don't believe Campaign's scurrilous and flattering lies. There's more to life than Howard Donald. SERIOUSLY.
I am, though, funnier than Mark Wnek. I mean, please.
Anyway, here's something brilliant and vaguely Halloweeny. Because it's a brilliant day and it's nearly Halloween. You're very welcome.
6 comments:
Totally agree. The best football is not played in the Premiership. I speak as a Crystal Palace supporter.
"I was obviously massively flatter..."
You were too busy reading Campaign, and got run over by a bus?
God - my attention to detail has totally abandoned my in my old age. In real life, I'd have someone to check things like that for me...
There is only Zoul...
In contradiction to your disagreement I actually believe that Campaign were right to include you. The others, although great, just do not swear. Swearing is honest, confident and entertaining. Plus the industry is full of it.
See it like this; if you can create increased dislike for fuckwits like Lloyd, you might just thank Campaign for for driving more people to follow @adlandsuit.
Post a Comment